I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
