I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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