So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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