I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
