I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
