Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
