you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
