the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
