Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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