conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
PANTIES FOUND
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