Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
