WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
