bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
