it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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