so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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