I wannas sexs uuuuu
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
