Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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