Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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