do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
