tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
