He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
