the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
