U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
