I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I want her autograph on my taint
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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