Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
one might say we're banned from that church
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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