my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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