I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
