If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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