I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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