who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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