look no pants
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
