just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
