Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
