And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
