We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
