does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
