yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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