If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
So vagazzling was a success
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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