nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
