wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
