Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Randomize