if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
