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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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