Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Alive.
So much puke
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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