I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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