yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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