hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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