Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
