ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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