We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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