No more Irish car bombs ever.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
