please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
