think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
