New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
