feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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