I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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