It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
