thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
pray to the hookup gods
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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