The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
