when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
