The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
