did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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