Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize