is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
