therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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