Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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