I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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